can u get pink eye on your cock?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
