the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
