So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
