CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
