is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize