Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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