zippers are such a cool invention
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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