oh god the rape fog is back!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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