I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
