Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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