well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
