Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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