I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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