Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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