I hope mine doesn't look like that
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
