why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
