You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
God, I missed his penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
