she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
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Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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