I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
