foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
