my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
