Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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