moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
