yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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