I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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