Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
