he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize