We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
As shirtless as possible
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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