it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
