I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
