From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
