one might say we're banned from that church
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
