Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
