the day after is always just damage control
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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