I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
