the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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