If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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