So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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