I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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