i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
