Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
