Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
where are you?
Hypothermia
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
