shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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