Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
