I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
