On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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