I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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