Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
