Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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