It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
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I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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