I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
