I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
