So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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