if you like me you must not know who I am
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize