East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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