I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
