So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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