okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The air was thick with penises
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
