I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
