just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
