it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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